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there is a piercing ache that numbs me
when everything seems to be in good light
i am saddened
for what is there to see besides my own sarcasm

the hurt is there.
some egotistical reason that i should not be
claiming im better

but im happy
somehow.
there are more reasons for it anyway

but something stops me
my hallucination gets to be my own nemesis

as i stare and watch the leaves sway,
i try to smell the flowers.
yes they are there.
i am not..but im hoping to arrive soon.