33rd

it's our 33 wk already. i am still amazed how i was able to hold on for this long. my duration would only last til the 4th wk until the 8th on the average.
33rd and i feel that we have been together for 10 years. every week i get this tantrum and he absorbs everything like a sponge. wawa.
i am getting fat as well. 10 lbs!!!!!
my pessimistic self asks me when i will let go. i dont know, it's as if when something is started, i think of the ending immediately. this makes me feel so stressed and more unproductive.
i still think about becoming a nun. there is this certain excitement when i think about a complete transformation. somehow, transforming oneself outside the religious realm is quite impossible.
a nun...it looks more pleasing than being married.

Their only words anyway este They're pala...

I have this habit of uttering out of the world words which translates to a more common and known noun, verb, adjective, or adverb in the dictionary. Sometimes, those words are completely wrong...este..often..most often...almost always..That's why I just write. I sound smarter when I write. duh.
Here are the list of words. Since I have not validated my words, maybe my imbentong vocabulary, grammar, and "nagfeefeeling witty" comments are correct naman.

ejaculate - i meant eject
it's not obligatory for you- you are not obliged. (is obligated a word in the dictionary?)..obligatory seems like a correct word.
I like your maong jeans ---DUH?! maong jeans?!!!
Why are you speeding so fast?! -- duh..driving so fast diba?
youre such a jest-- duh..jester. (jest came from the word zest that was on a million tarps back then..ze-ze-ze-zest!)
coming-going - i always get confused. plus the fact im greenminded.
de-growth -- meron bang ganyan?!this came from the words growth and decline. so pag nagincrease ang sales, you say "sales inclined" hehe
detonate - and this was the exact opposite of the word im thinking. up to this moment, im still thinking of the right word. see, im relying on stock knowledge (duh.) I told my friends "buti nga na-detonate nila yung bomb." they said "so may namatay? bakit buti nga?" ..i said "ay, ibig kong sabihin, di sumabog yung bomba"....and they said the correct word...i still don't remember..
what do you mean by "in any case"?
and the most famous and recent booboos...the story of by and by vs later.
"yeah he's mestizo. he's a spaniard eh." --okay. panahon ni magellan.
"so what are the plans of the isrealites now? -- fine. they plan to go to egypt.
" samarians or samaritans?" -- no comment.
"who is ruling mesopotamia now?" -- ah. iraq iha. iraq.


Just a thought. maybe we should change persian cats to iranian cats.



lyrics.com - this may be a longer list. sample muna..
i only learned this when i was working already...Sting's Message in a Bottle....And i did not even have a clue... At the end of each stanza when sting's voice becomes really really low, he'd sing, as i understood it then, "message in a pot of gold"and i always wondered where the bottle word would be inserted. So there. it was really "message in a bottle-llll" "lll" signified the extra syllable which i thought was "gold".
meron pa...i'd sing " you don't give me love..you give me pale shelter. you don't give me love. you give me calm down." ayos. no sense at all. but it sure sounds like the right lyrics. my officemate said it should be "cold hands". i believe her. she was real new wave baby anyway.

that's all for now.

Randomly Morbid Thoughts

Author’s Note: From my pessimistic attitude, very creative imagination, and advocacy to the truth, these thoughts are those I don’t want to happen though very probable they might become. The world is getting cruel, everyone eats shit sometimes..consistently.

One day I shall get a nervous breakdown for thinking too much. My dad has given me this gene. I’m glad he is still alive.

One day I shall commit suicide for taking everything in.

One day, my breasts will burst and loads of fat will be taken off my body.

One day I shall let go and become the bummest bum in the world.

One day I will become poor and will have to beg in the streets.

One day, I shall get better and better and more stressed and the whole world will become my enemy.

One day, the whole world will end and I will be left on this earth with criminals and my boss.

One day, all the angst will wrinkle my face.

I might not have children. (I’d like to think not having children will be my choice not my limitation)

One day my boyfriend will leave me.

One day, I will not crave for lovemaking.

One day, my partner will just open my legs, penetrate me, then sleep or be off to work. (Men can be such assholes)

One day, I will be as fat as my boss.

One day, I will become my boss.

One day, I will realize my boyfriend is just like my brother after all.

One day, my father will not help me at all.

I will be a sad bitch when I die.

I see myself selling bananaques in front of office buildings with a big apron with big and deep pocket holes.

And lastly….

I see myself working so hard in the office, cooking at home, doing chores, helping kids with assignments, bringing them and fetching them to and from school, doing groceries,
Doing finance planning, getting fatter and fatter, getting beaten by my husband, seeing my husband sleep and say “I’m tired.” (curse curse curse….)