restlessness and cecile licad

i feel restless and sad. i spend the nights thinking of the reasons why along with the work and chores that have been piling up. ..i don't know. im still analyzing about what the root cause is. i tried reading blogs about happiness, my old writings about joy. but they don't bring the same effect. or maybe i decided to be sad. happiness after all is a decision. I have so many things in mind that i want to talk about, write about. But i try very hard not to because i know for sure it's the loneliness that will surface. so maybe that is why i surf the net. it's like window shopping. you browse along places without knowing why. you mindlessly wander around.

...last friday was supposed to be the day i cross out one of the things i will be doing before i die. supposed to be the day...it did not happen. i was not able to watch cecile licad. i have been longing to watch her live. youtube does not give justice to how her fingers make love with the piano. it does not give me the chills..the goosebumps...there was an interview then and when she talked, i thought she was gay. her voice became deeper and more hoarse sounding. tama..magpiano na lang sya...
..i told my husband that she is my idol, that i have longed to watch her concert. he did not get the hint. thus, no tickets bought.. i don't blame him though. i guess because he was not there during the time i was practicing my sonatas. he was not there when i listened to NU107 in the morning then shifted to 98.7 for the half of my journey going to the office. we had our relationship during the time my piano playing became seldom to rare and during the time my piano was on the verge of breaking down. or maybe because when you get married you lose interest of the wants of our partners. my husband would spoil me with food. something i am starting to regret telling him (i told him that our family live to eat), that particular something i do not like to eat anymore. and i guess the interest stopped there. and sometimes...i wonder, it maybe could have been better if i got married with a friend......... yeah....di rin.
but then again, it could be nice if you share passions with your husband. i guess there is not much similarity to speak of. opposites complement that is why they attract. some people say their partners are their bestfriends. i am not one who will say the same thing. i wish though...truly.

so cecile licad..i hope you do another concert here..ill be buying the tickets myself. =)